She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
These tits shall not be calmed
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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