he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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