whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
