Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
