Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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