do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I need to align my fucking chakras
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
