i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Duck Duck Cougar?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Drunk is not a location!
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
