Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
