yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
