Its about making memories worth repressing
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
