So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
