I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
