He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I think I sprained my soul last night
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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