so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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