Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
