just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize