I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
