Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
