dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Randomize
