Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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