just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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