Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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