I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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