He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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