our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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