they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
