watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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