You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
