I just saw a hot homeless man
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
