Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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