i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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