so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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