He disabled his match.com account in front of me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
