I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
