I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
So many bounce houses so little time
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize