I molested 6 butterflies tonight
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
the raccoons are back...
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