Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize