I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
