i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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