with your own penis?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
