haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
