Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
