somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
