Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
