the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
