I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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