My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize