so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
He better not be in your backpack
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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