i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
