I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize