there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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