alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
