my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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