Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
