she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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