Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
