Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
