Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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