I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
