Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
