My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
