So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
