Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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