Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I supernannyed him into submission
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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