we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
