I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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