Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
