Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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