Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize