I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Edward fifth and chaser hands
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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