I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
