so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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